23 Reasons Trump International Realty Is Doomed to Fail

Ryan Nickum

Nov 19

Real estate

As if the world isn’t already gagging on the overexposure of Donald Trump, the real estate titan turned publicity whore recently announced he’s starting his own real estate brokerage house. For those who’ve been spared familiarity with Mr. Trump, he is a real estate developer best known for his lame reality TV show, incendiary Twitter account, and a toupee made from a tattered scrap of decaying orangutan pelt. Once a titan of real estate, Donald Trump has morphed into a bloviating human cockroach completely devoid of dignity who is hellbent on complete and absolute public humiliation. Here are 39 reasons why Trump International Realty will fall on its face…

  1. Birther Controversy:  One of company’s reale state agents is the 2011 Miss New York USA. But get this—she not even from New York! She was born and raised in Texas! Seriously, check her birth certificate.
  2. Scam?  Trump University is Donald Trump’s unaccredited real estate school that charges up to $35,000 for a real estate seminar, has D-minus rating by the Better Business Bureau, and is the target of a class-action lawsuit for (alleged) fraud.
  3. Questionable Agents:  Trump routinely hires people who appear on his reality shows and nobody wants to suddenly discover their real estate agent is Gary Busey, Stephen Baldwin, or Bret Michaels.
  4. Bad Guy:  Donald Trump is one slip into a vat of toxic waste away from becoming an actual comic book super villain.
  5. FailureTrump Airlines was unveiled to much fanfare only to take a nosedive, fail to turn a profit and default on its loans.
  6. Rent/Buy:  Trump International Realty’s slogan is “If you love it… Own it,” which is kind of an odd slogan since many of their properties are rentals.
  7. Cockroaches:  His signature Las Vegas restaurant was recently shut down by health inspectors for numerous health code violations.
  8. Bankruptcy:  Donald Trump has filed for corporate bankruptcy twice as many times as he’s gotten divorced.
  9. He’s Fired:  Donald Trump had the hubris to attempt to trademark his reality show catchphrase “You’re fired,” a term that’s been in use for nearly three centuries. Fire him, don’t hire him.
  10. Paranoia: Why is Trump both getting into the real estate brokerage business at the same time he’s boldly predicting America is on the brink of financial ruin?
  11. Exaggeration:  With no properties or offices outside the United States, isn’t it a stretch to call it Trump International Realty?
  12. Failed Vodka Venture:  After creating his own brand of vodka and the slogan “success distilled,” Donald predicted the Trump & Tonic would become the most popular cocktail after the Trumptini. Nobody bought it.
  13. Bath Salts:  As if bath salts don’t have a bad enough reputation, Donald Trump just trademarked a line of bath products called “SUCCESS BY TRUMP.” All caps.
  14. Organized Crime:  Trump International Realty is only based in New York City, Chicago and Las Vegas, which would be great if it were the 1950s and it was catering to mobsters looking to expand operations.
  15. Hiding Documents:  Until Donald Trump releases his brokerage license to the press, how can anyone know if his company is even licensed to sell real estate?
  16. Bad Mortgages:  When Trump launched his mortgage company Trump Mortgage in 2006, his son predicted it would become the nation’s top home-loan lender. The company folded within a year and half (article). Foreshadowing?
  17. Nepotism:  His daughter Ivanka Trump is the company’s executive vice president of development and acquisitions.
  18. Crazy: Anyone who follows his Twitter account knows that the conspiracy spouting Trump is unraveling faster than the seams on his Chinese sweatshop-made line of clothing.
  19. Lawsuits:  His net worth is not the billions he claims, but he’ll sue you for defamation if you say otherwise so let’s all pretend he’s really billionaire (wink, wink).
  20. Bad Economics:  Nobody wants to pay money to someone who urges Congress to default on its loans and routinely files for bankruptcy.
  21. Better Alternatives:  Warren Buffett (actual billionaire) has the second largest brokerage in America with 53,000 sales associates and hundreds of thousands of properties. Trump’s new company has 10 agents and 42 properties. You’ll find a better selection and get a better deal from Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway’s HomeServices.
  22. Limited Selection:  Trump International Realty offers a limited number of properties, but the cheapest one comes with a small flat-screen TV for free.
  23. What’s in a Name? Trump may not even own Trump International Realty. Lately Trump has been putting his name on projects for a fee, but actually has no interest in the company or development.

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